So What!

So E came back to here just what had been said, to dispel all rumours that E may have been dead, and all E have come to find is such a shallow attitude, you can think what you like man but E am on a groove, how can you stand there and condemn what you don’t know, you don’t know where E have been and you don’t know where E go, and you don’t know what thee fuck E need to keep my head in shape, so don’t ever think you’re better than me because of what E take, so what, so what if E take L.S.D it seems to be a much better friend to me, it doesn’t ask for no commitment and it gives me what E need, so, so what, so what, so what, so what if E take L.S.D, don’t you see don’t you realise man that all things are drugs, with some people it’s their politics with some others it’s love, with some people it’s still thinking that they’re some kind of punk, but don’t kid yourself you’re just a leftie screwed up and drunk, life’s an experience because that’s all you can gain, all emotions tell my story and they’re locked in my brain, E ain’t powerful and E ain’t rich cause these things you don’t need, when you’re born to live with nothing then that’s how you must leave, each to his own man each to his own E don’t condone man so leave me alone, each to his own man each to his own you haven’t indulged man so how can you know, yeah, what makes your way so right? (1990)

Thee red and purple dragons haze

Or subtitled how to handle a 300mg dose ov LSD on a Friday evening in west London (or how we handled it anyways). At 7:30pm we dropped, played a few records and sank thee last few beers we had so lesson number one: if you wanna quench your thirst while tripping…buy before you trip, or you could be in for an intense visit to thee off licence as we did, and did we make a complete mess ov it or what! We got outside and couldn’t get it together to go in or decide what we wanted, if we wanted it, why we wanted it or how we were gonna get it but while we were pondering theses all important decisions…we got trapped, beer monsters coming in one direction and mentally handicapped coming in thee other and thee only sanctuary to be found…thee off licence! In we went, stood around it was too much, green lights, TV on full volume, Asian shopkeepers looking rather strangely at us, what to do? Head for thee fridge cabinet, pick out some cans, pay for them and get thee fuck out very quickly, then realise you are holding four ice cold cans ov Carlsberg that you just don’t want. Then, SHOCK reminder we need some cigarettes, oh no we can’t go back in, we’ll go to thee next one so lesson number two: learn by your mistakes, one off licence visit was heavy, two? Would be suicidal, we got outside we couldn’t go in, we dropped things and scuffled embarrassingly off into thee night so lesson number three: thee twenty four hour garage is always open for cigarettes and doesn’t involve going into a shop but speaking safely from behind a glass partition, so there is some sanity in Britain today. Lesson number four: when you are safely back home and tripping out nicely along to music etc do not believe thee scene when he says he’s got a very strange film to watch, it was all made on acid, etc, etc because it will contain sick scenes ov torture, religion and frogs being blown up these things are just not psychedelic and thee marble tiles in thee bathroom definitely are, E watch them slip and slide, melting off thee wall E touched them they were cold, damp, soft and squidgy liquid beneath stone on top, they slid down onto thee floor, always moving but never moving if you see what E mean. Anyways thee trip came and went, come down was calling, some serious masturbation brought forward thee flashing lights, man-made strobes in thee corneas ov my eyes, sleep, yeah some about 2 hours till thee buzz phoned, 8am and we’re going to see Thee walking seeds play live and free at rough trade Covent garden. Got there at 11, they weren’t due to play till 1:30 and didn’t play till 2:45 coming off at 3pm due to a blown bass amp was it worth it? It’s always worth to see other heads perform, E guess that was there 15 mins eh Andy. Next wandering around London buying head sounds and head books, Tom Wolfe, Hunter.S.Thompson etc, back to Soho to wish we could own blob lamps and then home getting more and more wasted as time dragged on, saw thee singer from Hawkwind today sync psyche or what! An easy mellow evening ‘til sleep slipped its immortal cover over me and took control ov my body. Lesson number five: when buying 300mg doses make damn sure you get enough for thee following week or year or as much as you can afford coz that’s some really heavy shite. (21/05/90)

“All living organisms exist in thee pulsating sea ov energies serving as receivers, transformers and projectors…. there is a universal electric field affecting all life, while in turn all life exerts its own influence upon thee field…and through it to thee changes in thee electrical fields ov thee moon and sun. And there are other voices from out ov thee deep that speak in languages still unknown to man. –Vincent and Margaret Gaddis

Devout ov confidence

He was all dressed in green and radiant with light, E saw him with my own eyes, E know it sounds crazy as thee blizzard started but for them E wont tell lies, your son has dreamed a pretty dream and E know its all supposed to mean, but this bastards going to kill you, E just couldn’t sleep a wink, if you beat me E will die, you can’t ever change your mind, even on my sleepless nights there’s a weird look in your eye, have you gone out ov your mind? E wont go to thee asylum, have you gone out ov your mind? To find a place to find him, E will stand here till E drop dead, this girl has faith E will heal her, and still you don’t believe a word and love is still no nearer, there is no other solution, its spreading fire wild, if they believe there must be a reason why they chose a child, there’s no ray ov light, no nothing at all, don’t talk like that, why not? My skin was burning you got laid and thee dream was left to rot, can you wait to see thee light? Is there an urgent need inside? Not a spark ov catastrophe for thee three men ov thee wise, he wont come to bleed us dry, he will pass us by, too many people do what they’re told without ever asking why? Thee ritual was green, what’s that supposed to mean? For a space age libertine it all comes clear to me, war as only participants can see it. (16/08/91)