Usually thee most complex questions have thee simplest answers, usually staring you right in thee face, thee moral is don’t make any deals and don’t ask any questions, insanity spreads like a contagious disease, by word ov mouth. It only takes one initial push, by one initial person to set thee ball in motion, thee answer to everything would send thee world insane, thee meaning ov life would blow thee cosmic fuse, so why search for it? (25/04/91)

Thee Manson legend

Sometimes, E just wanna kill thee world, sometimes, E just wanna wipe it out and E know it’s wrong to feel this way, yes E know it’s wrong to make decisions for everybody, but E feel so sick ov society that it’s sickness starts to infect me, and my frustration builds and my anger feels like a vice gripping my brain, and E need to release, to escape thee pain, and E just wanna be free and E just wanna change, and sometimes you know, E just wanna kill, yeah E just wanna kill thee world…..because there’s fascist, racist, ignorant bigots, sexist, patronizing, violent idiots, killing destroying, polluting my life, trying to cut out my love with a knife, there’s torture, starvation and nuclear stations, animal dissection, thee lab A.I.D.S infection, dishonesty, lies, so much pain in my eyes and as thee real truth unfurls, E just wanna kill, kill, kill, kill, thee world, because humanity does not deserve to live. Thee change is coming…coming down fast, thee anger has been released, play for pleasure, sometimes E just wanna kill thee world, yet E know it’s wrong to make this decision, cause E learnt how to kill from thee television. (29/04/91)

E monster

Risk? Thee path to knowledge is always dangerous, there is nothing wrong with desires they are an active part ov yourself, they are repressed by your conscience and society. Three aspects ov self-1: primitive drive (impulse) 2:ego (conscious) 3:super ego (moral guilt). Destruction ov thee super-ego equals thee true fulfilment ov your repressed desires, instinctive, impulsive…a monster? Certain drugs can break down thee hollow walls ov thee super-ego! Evil? - Crimes committed with no motive whatsoever, done for thee sake ov doing them, actions on instinct, but if these desires were not repressed by thee morals ov others and society would they manifest themselves as violence? Surely it’s thee frustrations ov not obtaining your innermost desires that manifests an alternative desire, that ov violence, caused by bitterness and hate, impatience and solitude. Thee problem with thee Jekyll and Hyde scenario is that it portrays thee two sides ov a person as two separate entities one good, one evil, just like thee Christian deities, E tend to think they are one and thee same, aspects ov thee one- self, separating them is dangerous (just look what religion has done for thee world) accepting them as equal parts ov thee self, thee whole self is more feasible, acceptance ov your true desires is very important, no guilt, guilt comes from thee super ego, guilt stops you from learning about yourself, a barrier to your own personal knowledge, a hindrance to your own personal evolution which therefore hinders thee human races evolution. In thee same respect, thee devil is thee reverse side ov god, a schizophrenic, neither evolving nor learning, but dogmatic, stagnant, without time, without love and without hope. So yes, E am a monster but only by someone else’s rules, live what you love, love what you live. Do what thou wilt shall be thee whole ov thee law, thee mystery becomes a legend.

“Planting fear in thee people is thee way a lot ov leaders keep control…love and doing our own thing was what held us together and that’s thee way E wanted everything to be. Acid, depending on quality and amount taken, is not always a pleasant trip, but it does always provide a hallucination that goes far beyond thee realm ov everyday thinking, surpassing thee most vivid ov imaginations. Among other things, acid can reach into thee subconscious to bring forth experience ov deeply smothered thoughts, long forgotten dreams, real or imagined incidents that happened long ago” –Charles Manson

Thee notion to create

E no longer have a zest for life, E am a victim to thee ebbs and flows ov fate, caught in a strong current, being spun round just managing to keep my head above water. My heads in a noose and my feet are trembling above thee trapdoor ov thee after-life, E feel like Stuart Sutcliffe, so near but then too late E only have thee notion to create. E crawl through fields ov toffee flavoured wheat sticks, E find it harder to move, to motivate, it’s too much ov one thing, it’s a hell, E need some salt to rectify thee balance, sweet and sour, black and white, good and bad! E need to be re-attuned to thee universe, E opened thee door, stepped out and thee door slammed shut behind me, there was no handle only a small keyhole through which to view thee successful and thee wise, E found thee key to get through thee door but left thee key behind, E need a new key or another door. But can E go on further, can E reach out and upwards or will E open a door or fall to thee point ov no return, thee steps E take are not through thought, E stumble blindly knowing that one day E could trip and find nothing but wasteland, my life in tatters and my eternity damaged for ever. Others have been here, did they find thee right door? Hendrix, Morrison? Will E find them behind thee door? Or like Lennon do E choose to ignore thee door, only to find my fate on a more mortal plane. E roll thee dice, thee numbers fall, divisible by three an omen? Yes, but good or bad? No, good and bad a sign ov fate, a sign ov life, a sign ov achievement? E ride a black horse on a white beach, thee sea is transparent, E soar through thee black sky on a white dove, thee clouds are transparent, E stride through life half black, half white and thee world is transparent, E watch my TV and thee meanings transparent, E write what E feel and thee motions transparent, E guess confusions like that! E don’t wish to lead but E wish to be heard, to understand me there will be few, but like me there will be many, misunderstood philosophies, questioning all they dream, laughing ‘til they scream, art is what you feel when you create. There is no wrong and no right, no rules and no lessons, just thee need to create a path through thee mysteries ov your own psyche, your hopes, your dreams, your art, So Don’t criticise or praise Just be interested to discover yourself and just how deep you can get.
See if you can know me or maybe know yourself after all we are ov thee same race,
And 0v thee same time. Never pause, never stop it will take you a lifetime to truly understand, do not be put off by mortal, meaningless things, money does not matter, it is only a means to eat and keep dry, money is not to be saved only to be spent, do not plan, execute as you feel fit, age does not matter, time is an invention ov thee mortal plane, you are as young as you feel and E feel 70! There is no sense and no judgement, just statements and conclusions that only you can make, and only you make matter. (15/05/90)